The Fight part Two

The Fight cont.

I always thought there was something in the beginning wrong with me, there was I was never happy with who I saw in the mirror, this caused an internal fight in me that would divide my heart into two pieces, Bill always got the smaller of these two parts of my heart, and would be known as the asshole excuse my cuss words, Brenda always kept the biggest part of the heart which left her with all the love, and she made sure to keep it safe from all, would not let anyone in. Bill got ahold of that much power he would lose control, see with that much love a person could be very dangerous to everyone around them. The amount of love God placed in my hands is very powerful magic indeed. You see by him saving me my entire life, He showed me that he loves us even when we are un-lovable, he still on his throne, and will always show Grace to those who ask. He loved me before I loved myself, that was something, I was a long way from doing that. I mean, I spent my life loving others just not the way God wants us to love with our whole heart. So, how can you love others or God for that matter if you do not love yourself, God wants us to love him with are whole heart and soul and mind, and to love others in this same way. How can we do this when we do not love ourselves first, without this key ingredient, we cannot love properly. Infact we cannot love anything in the correct fashion, without our whole heart. So, I say please no matter where your heart takes you, don't wait find this love for yourself, before it's too late, before you do something to permanently hurt yourself, as for me four attempts, at suicide was enough damage and I can't count how many times, I had thoughts of ending it.

In Closing

I will say that finding yourself in this process, is very imperative, put that whole heart together before it's too late for you to discover, that there is pure love out there that will except you no matter how you come, just come.