The Fight Part Five

The Battle Continues

This battle went on what seems like an eternity, because as far back as I can remember, I have fought this battle. It was always like a light switch flipping on and off, and because everyone made me feel so Quilty, for it, I started judging myself, judging is wrong no matter who you are doing it to including yourself. By this kind of judgement, is nothing but pain and you begin to hate yourself, you ask how a person can that is so full of love, hate themselves, well I don't know, then I hated myself so deep it did not matter if I lived or died.

This hate just grew until, I learned to find all parts of myself, the pieces, I left here and there laying around everywhere, some of me will never be found they died a long time ago.

The pieces I have found now, I have started putting myself back together again. The biggest pieces were my inner child and pulling together the pieces that was always fighting, you just have to invent new ways to coexist with yourself, even if no one agrees with you, there is no choice if you want to be whole again.

Don't allow others to control how you feel about yourself, it is not them who have to live with what is left of you. This process has thought me much about myself and who I wanted to be. Giving me more strength and willpower to be whole again. Thought me how to properly love people the way Jesus asked us to do.

In Conclusion

Just know if you complete this process of discovery, you will find Joy and Happiness, because when you find this kind of complete love you find yourself living in harmony with the entire world, and there is no greater blessing then utter love of the creator.